The Muse's Best Friend

...Harley Muse

What Happened
These past few days have turned our world upside down. It has been an emotional roller coaster ride for us all. Wednesday, October 29, 2008, my father-in-law and I took the boys to the Dallas Arboretum. When we left, Harley was bouncing around like her normal self; however, when Scott got home he called to tell me she had thrown up. For us, dog throw up is normal as sometimes this would happen. By Thursday morning, I knew something was wrong. We woke up to find our bathroom trashed with magazines scattered everywhere and Harley laying on her side in a comatose state.

Our little Harley girl was born October 2003 with a liver shunt, meaning her liver never functioned properly, and after she was whelped from her litter and started eating dog food, it became apparent. The liver is supposed to filter out toxins from the foods we (dogs and people) eat and aid in the digestive process, disposing them as bile. For our little Harley, her liver couldn't filter toxins and they would build up in her body producing ammonia. Her ammonia levels would get so high that is would cause her to stagger when walking, pace around because her head was foggy, her eyes would become glassy and she really wouldn't know where she was. We prevented this from occurring by giving her morning meds of Lactulose, Zentonil and Flagyl and evening meds of Flagyl and Lactulose. We did this every day for 5 years.

However, on Thursday morning October 30, 2008, this was the state Harley was in. Even eating 1 cheerio would cause this so we were very careful about Harley getting nothing other than her prescription dog food of NF. I asked Scott if a forgein object other than food was in her throw up and he said yes, maybe toilet paper. This would make her act different but usually after the throw up she would return to normal, but on Thursday she was comatose. I called the vet, loaded the kids up quickly after breakfast and made Harley a pallet in our Tahoe. I then loaded up my beautiful, 67 lb white lab and took her to Roanoke Animal Hospital.

Upon arriving the staff immediately went to work. Picture a gun-shot wound victim being brought in and everyone running around in a stat mode. I knew she was in good hands as everyone there loved her, especially Dr. Tracy Deiss. I had no doubt for one second that she wouldn't get the best care and they were truly fighting for Harley's life. I called many times to check on her that day and they would say, "Don't worry. She needs a little more time to come out of this." I was so consumed with Harley that I ran over my double jogging stroller after getting the tires checked at the bike shop. The crazy thing is, I didn't even realize it until I drove off and got home!

Thursday night Scott and I were told to take her to the Animal Emergency Center in Southlake so Harley could have overnight IV fluids and they could closely monitor her. Scott was able to stop by and spend a little time with her after work at 4:45 pm. At that time, she was still laying on a pallet in a crate receiving the IVs, but still basically comatose. Scott says she blinked her eyes, smelled him and lifted her head a little, so he thinks she knew he was there, but didn't have the strength to get up. I saw her at 5:30 pm and by that time, she was standing up (a first for the day) and we were completely overjoyed. Scott said she turned around because of his visit. I do believe this helped and she was trying to "act better" for us. At 6:00pm we transported her to the Emergency Center. I truly thought she was making progress! She was, but just not enough.

I called all night to learn that she was doing better, but still not out of the clear. She had eaten some food and drank water. We picked her up Friday morning and were thrilled to find our girl walking with a little spunk. We loved on her and took her back to RAH for another assessment. She was still a little dazed and confused so we left her to receive more IV fluids.

Scott and I picked Harley up on Friday elated that she could FINALLY come home! We had missed her tons! Unfortunately, Harley never came out of the dazed state. Scott stayed with Harley Friday night, as he was really worried about her, and I took the boys to the Blakes' Halloween party as we had promised. I still wanted them to be able to be kids. I guess I also didn't want to face the facts of the possibility. When I got home, Scott said she had been moaning all evening (sounded like a really sick cow) and had blood in her urine (UTI). This was all too common for Harley, due to her medicines, so I was slightly concerned. I got the boys into bed and assumed the watching role until 1 am. I layed beside Harley stroking her sweet head and neck telling her not to cry and I was beside her. I told her how much I loved her and how sweet she was.

Saturday morning (November 1, 2008), I took Harley back to the vet. I of course was bawling, as I just didn't know what to do or expect. Dr. Deiss rechecked Harley and said she wasn't in physical pain but that her head was spinning and her eyes weren't focusing. The ammonia levels had been high for so long (we were trying to detox her with all of the IV fluids and get the ammonia out of her body) that there wasn't really any more that we could do. The levels had come down significantly but, ammonia was still present, making her still foggy. If her levels were to decrease further and she had come out of the fog withun 72 hrs from start to finish, then there was a high possibility of brain damage due to strokes, etc while in the foggy state.

My heart broke as the awful truth was setting in on me...we were losing Harley. Scott, A and I met up after A's soccer game and we left C asleep at home with Scott's parents. We went back to RAH where Harley was still lying on her pallet. We had arranged to come back after hours and spend time with her before saying good-bye. After a gut-wrenching hour with her, we said good-bye and hugged and kissed her. Scott laid on her heart and I hugged her neck as we wailed as Harley went to Heaven. Her long fight was over. She was at peace, healthy and happy. I said, "She's gone isn't she?" Scott said, "Honey, it was only a matter of seconds." Dr. Deiss confirmed and said that Harley was ready. She was holding on until we were ready.

We have peace knowing she is in Heaven and not constantly fighting her liver condition. She has once again been restored to health and is the happy-go-lucky little Harley, girl. We miss her tons and cry every day for her. A is learning all about death at a tender young age. He knows her heart is in Heaven and her memories are here with us in the little box (we had her cremated). He, of course, doesn't understand and asks daily where Harley is and says, "Oh yeah. She's resting in the little box." What he is learning is that she is not here and in Heaven.